Sunday, November 27, 2005

first post in a while

Alrighty, here we go. I think I made an offical first post way back in January when I creating this blog, saying something like "wow, this is awesome, I have a blog", but that turned out to be kind of a false start, so here I am again, starting up for real. In the coming days and weeks, I will probably be whoring myself out to um, "coordinating" with other blogs I frequent in order to try to get someone here reading (and commenting), because I really don't like writing in a vacuum. It's so depressing.

I generally will run the gamut here between silly film awards discussion and deep thoughts about my life and future (have I typed that before somewhere? or did I delete that?), so be prepared for heavy contrast. I figure contrast is key to any great work of art or literature, so there's nothing wrong with contrast in the contents of a blog. Film awards. Politics. My "acting career". Random insecurities. Profound insights. It's all good. Nothing will be excluded here.

That said, I'm probably headed for a whirl of film awards obsession, since the season is now upon us. Unfortunately I haven't been seeing anything lately, partially cause I'm busy, partially cause I'm lazy, partially cause I'm cheap. Yeah. I'd start a whole screening log/grades/reviews/awards thing, but that's gonna have to wait until I'm seeing more than likr 5 movies a year. Pathetic. Pathetic, it is.

I really think I'm just psychologically healthier when I'm seeing movies. Like sex, they provide a great emotional release/catharsis. What was that called in old Asian theatre theory? "Rasa," I believe? No, "rasa" meant "taste"... the "taste" of theatre. Man, I am a bad student. Whatever, I'm a practicioner, not a theorist. I'm an actor, dammit!

Anyway. I apologize. Blog sometimes brings out my worst tendencies. I promise that in some posts I will sound deep, reflective and intelligent. I'm very two-faced like that. It's like there's a petulant child and an old sagely wise man fighting for control of my thoughts and words. Maybe I'm a touch schizophrenic. My great grandmother was. Or at least they called it that back in the day. She may just have been generic "crazy".

My hope is that I've picked up just enough of it to be an effective actor/writer and but not enough to be certifiably insane. That would be ideal.

But wait, that reminds me of something the casting director Michael Shurtleff wrote in his book, Audition. He said that wanting to go into acting was like asking permission into an insane asylum: anyone may apply, but only the certifiably insane are admitted.

Sigh. So much for the theory that I'm not crazy.


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