WHO'S HOTTER: (the finals) Eric Bana or James Dean?

ERIC BANA(DINOVICH)

This is for the gold, y'all. THE final test. The matchup that ends all matchups. The hottest of the hot.

And one of those hottest is this man right here. Eric Bana. The tournament's had more than its share of big, burly men - Viggo, Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman - but in the end, Eric is the only one left standing.

I think what gives him the edge is that gorgeous sensitivity that shows through. Even when he looks like he'll beat you brains out, the Bana's really just a big teddy bear. He's got the best of both worlds: strength and softness. What fun that could lead to in the bedroom, you say...


JAMES (BYRON) DEAN

...until you set your eyes on this one. Yowza. What more is there to say about James Dean? Thick toussled hair, deep brooding eyes, a face for the ages... he's got it all. Impenetrable cool. Swoon-worthy vulnerability. Legend status.

But is that enough against The Bana? He's done an awful lot better than I thought he would, until know. But now, I don't know what to think. Bana... Dean... it's up to you.

I don't have much else to say on the matter. There have been many posts leading up to this one, so everything's kinda been said. Strange to think it's all almost over. But let's send it out with a bang. VOTE!

WHO'S HOTTER: (the semifinals) Ewan McGregor or James Dean?

EWAN GORDON McGREGOR

Hotter than:
James McAvoy
Enrique Iglesias
Colin Farrell
Clive Owen

Height: 5' 10.5''

Accent: Scottish

Hair: auburn

Eyes: blue/gray

Build: medium

Body Hair: slight
(though there's been more over time... this pic is old)

Oh Ewan... James may be the dead one, but Ewan's still an angel from heaven. Now, after conquering a fellow Scotsman, an Irishman, a Spaniard and a Brit, can he take on an American? Or, more to the point, this American? That's tough to say.

JAMES BYRON DEAN

Hotter than:
Marlon Brando
Matt Damon
Paul Rudd
Daniel Craig

Height: 5' 8''

Accent: all-American

Hair: greasy, chestnut brown

Eyes: brown

Build: medium

Body Hair: minimal
(at least in his youth)

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy... do you prefer Ewan's cuteness and warmth, or Jimmy's jaded cool? They're very different animals, but each is in a league of his own. Which league do you play in?

The Final Four: JAMES DEAN

James Dean. The name says it all.

It's no secret that Dean has been this tournament's preordained favorite (at least to me). I've been trying to campaign him on inevitability, in much the same way Hillary Clinton's people have for her. So I just hope Dean doesn't crash and burn in the final stretch as Hillary has. I guess it all depends on how you, the voters, really feel.

In any case, Dean's iconic status is assured. The ultimate bad boy, the original lost boy, the first teen idol... all these labels can be and have been applied. Are they all true? Does he live up to the hype? Mostly (IMHO). That incredible openness and honesty, that complete vulnerability, combined with his utter jadedness and easy cool, will make James Dean last forever. Unfortunately, unlike his rivals, he lacks the advantage of being contemporary, and also has no large body of work. But he does have the advantage of a legend built up over time. Will that be enough? Or will it only breed resentment in readers who have their own preferences? We'll see.

Apologies for all the worshipping (and the politics)... but this is my last chance to get my say. The results, as always, will be up to you.

WHO'S HOTTER: (the quarterfinals) James Dean or Daniel Craig?

JAMES BYRON DEAN

Nationality: American

Hotness peak: 1955
(but really forever)

Hotter than:
Marlon Brando
Matt Damon
Paul Rudd

How'd he get this far?
Um. Because he's JAMES DEAN. He of the sad eyes, luxuriant hair, and stark, inimitable cool. Founder of both the "disaffected model" look and the "vaguely bisexual" aura. The standard bearer for hotness. Bow down.

Can he go all the way?
I don't know. I sure got scared when he almost lost to Paul Rudd a few weeks back (again I say "WTF!?"). But I have faith.

DANIEL WROUGHTON CRAIG

Nationality: British

Hotness peak: 2006

Hotter than:
Chris Evans
Cary Grant
Monty Clift

How'd he get this far?
In short, because he's HOT. He's hot like butter is fattening. And he does nudity. And he's played a gay sex object (little seen, but whatever). And only Clive Owen can touch him in the "badass" department. Though really, on second thought, he can't. Daniel Craig OWNS Clive Owen. Was Clive chosen as Bond? No, he was not. Can Clive work a swimsuit like Daniel? No, he cannot (though I'd love to see him try).

WHO'S HOTTER: (round three) Paul Rudd or James Dean?

PAUL STEPHEN RUDD

Why is he hot?
The "aw shucks" factor. He's got the cutest face you've ever seen, and his own brand of goofy charm. And if you're into men with abundant body hair, he's your guy (and if you're not, he's still super cute). He's also a good actor. He's had a loyal fanbase ever since Clueless.

Hotter than:
Anderson Cooper
John Stamos

Hottest role:
I gather this is a tossup between Clueless and Wet Hot American Summer. Unfortunately, I've seen neither. But I know they both have die-hard fans. I don't think Rudd plays the gay guy in Wet Hot; if he did, this would be an easy call. Where do you guys think he's hottest? I'm ignorant on this one.

JAMES BYRON DEAN

Why is he hot?
In the immortal words of Catherine Keener's Maxine: "YAWN, figure it out?" He's JAMES DEAN. He needs no introduction. If you don't know why he's hot, that's your own fault.

Hotter than:
Matt Damon
Marlon Brando
(and just about everyone else)

Hottest role:
Well, there are only three to choose from. Sadly. Of those three, I'd go with the one he wasn't oscar-nominated for: Jim Stark in Rebel Without a Cause. The thing with Sal Mineo kinda clinches it (for more info on their relationship, click here).

OK, fine, more help

I was just thinking how it's not fair to let Jackman, Bana and Craig have all the shirtless fun. All 8 guys should have their fair share. So here you go:

Except damn, there aren't any good ones of Eckhart or Grant (wtf?), so here's two more of Daniel Craig. We can always count on him:


















God, I'm so shallow... I'm inclined to agree with Sora: I hate me, too.

WHO'S HOTTER: (round two) Matt Damon or James Dean?

MATTHEW PAIGE DAMON

Nationality: American
(Massachusetts native)

Age: 37 (as of three days ago)

Height: 5' 10''

Trademark: golden hair, chiseled bod, and an ass to circle the globe for

Notable Work:
Good Will Hunting (1997)
The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
the Bourne films (2002-2007)
The Departed (2006)

Upcoming:
Margaret (2007)
The Human Factor (2009)
Imperial Life in the Emerald City (2009)



JAMES BYRON DEAN

Nationality: American
(Indiana native)

Age: forever 24
(his age of death)

Height: 5' 8''

Trademark: arguably the coolest guy to have ever lived... and boy is he beautiful, too

Notable Work:
East of Eden (1955)
Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
Giant (1956)

Upcoming:
sadly, nothing. ever. again.

WHO'S HOTTER: Marlon Brando or James Dean?

All right. Time to get serious. I assume the contestants need no introduction. Previous men in this series have not necessarily been famous for their cuteness/hotness, but this time's different. This is a clash of the titans.

I expect passionate endorsements of your choices. If you can't get enthusiastic about one of these men, then... well, then there's something wrong with you. Sexual orientation is not even relevant with these two. Their hotness knows no bounds; it transcends all.

Vote once. Vote well. Explain your reasoning (unless it's just one of those gut feelings/attractions that cannot be explained in words... but come on, try, there's plenty to worth with here). Debate. Argue. Get specific. We have here two white-hot icons of 50s brooding and angst. Which one does it for YOU? Brando or Dean?

And the hotter is...

(a week passes)

James Dean. Not as much participation as I'd hoped, plus the two people who DID vote seemed to base their choice on the fact that Dean died before he could become old and ugly (that's not really fair to Brando). Still, I can't really argue with the result. Brando's hotness tears through the screen, and he's got that animalistic male thing going on... but his voice is kind of terrible. When he speaks, I get turned off. Not a great trait for an actor. James Dean, on the other hand, is just... well...